Friday Fantasy Forecast 2 - The Taco Strikes Back

Last week, in a bid to obtain a better result to my weekly fantasy football picks, I took a new approach.  Rather than blindfolding myself and throwing darts at my computer (hello HP customer service, yes it's me again), an actual strategy was implemented. That plan; using the power of tacos to form an unstoppable juggernaut.  I decided to only select players based on whether or not their names contained a sufficient combination of the letters T-A-C-O.  By doing so, I assumed they'd be infused with greatness and propel me to victory.  The result?

• Week 6 - Finished 94,757th out of 344,853 entries

Eh, the propulsion fizzled out a bit.  Don't get me wrong, it was an improvement over the prior week.  However, it seems that just having those four individual letters scattered all willy-nilly in a person's name didn't provide quite enough juice.  To use the pure essence of tacos, you need a true source.  You require, in fact, the chosen one.

Forgive me, sir, for my sins, it's been seven days since my last taco

That's right, we needed the real thing.  Previously anointed as this blog's spirit guide, I give you #97 (but #1 in our grease-clogged hearts), Taco Charlton.

That's right, T-A-C-O!

Yes, that's totally his actual, real name.  See?

"Vidauntae Charlton...his nickname "Taco" was given to him by his mother and grandmother."

Well, farts.  Still though, people refer to him as Taco, and that seems to be the moniker he goes by in every article I found.  So, I say, if it's good enough for Google search, it's good enough for me.  He's our leader!

However, there's an issue with converting our faith into fantasy gold.  You see, there's only one Taco (you can say that again!).  The problem with that is a fantasy lineup requires nine spots filled.  So, we'll need to expand our search to fill out our team, unless he wants to became a modern day cartoon character.

1st base, Bugs Bunny, 2nd base, Bugs Bunny...

Thus, we need a method to add players who, if not personally instilled with taco goodness, need to have been, at the very least, touched by taco goodness.  With that in mind, a way towards success reared its head.

This is Sir Charlton's first season as a defensive lineman in the NFL.  Since joining the league, his Dallas Cowboys have played games against the New York Giants, Denver, Arizona, the LA Rams, Green Bay, Indianapolis (Preseason), Oakland (Preseason).  So, from a certain (hopeful) perspective, you could say he has potentially tackled/pushed/slammed into the offensive players on each of those teams.  Therefore, in my eyes, they've all been touched by a taco.

Touched by a taco.  We should all be so lucky.

Based on this conclusion, I can select other players, but they will be limited to just those athletes available from that slate of teams (excluding Oakland, who unhelpfully played their game last night).  I'm also allowing myself to choose players from Dallas for this squad.  Certainly, he's touched all of his teammates by this point, right?  What else do you do in locker rooms, anyway?

I've made that face

So, without further ado (seriously, it's already been way too much ado), here is this weekend's squadron.  Now go out there and win one for the Taco!!!!

-Introducing, the TACO CHARLTON ALL-STARS-

- Quarterback - Brett Hundley / Green Bay (see this story for why)

- Running Back 1 - Todd Gurley / LA Rams

- Running Back 2 - Ezekiel Elliot / Dallas

- Wide Receiver 1 - Larry Fitzgerald / Arizona

- Wide Receiver 2 - T.Y. Hilton / Indy

- Wide Receiver 3 - Demaryius Thomas / Denver

- Tight End - Evan Ingram / NY Giants

- Extra RB or WR - Cole Beasley / Dallas

- Defense - Dallas, of course

I can smell victory already.  It has a scent of...cilantro?  Huh, it figures.