Taco 'bout whatever: America's Next Top Taco & 5 Ridiculous Things For Tonight's Game

In cased you missed it, yesterday was National Taco Day. Sorry, I meant #NationalTacoDay. There, now it's legible to you millennials out there. Anyway, I celebrated the Wednesday as I typically do every week; working, running a few errands, and watching the dog sleep more soundly than I ever have in my life.

For a moment, the squirrels are safe

If you noticed that there was no mention of tacos in that fascinating synopsis of my life, you'd be correct. I chose long ago to unburden myself from the obligations set forth by BIG TACO, and consume one of my favorite foods based on my own (drunken) desires. I will not eat something to appease the masses. Do you hear me taco-lords?!? My palette, my choice!!!

I know, I'm pretty much the Jyn Erso of pointless causes.

Taco (re)Bell(ion). I'm sorry.

At any rate, there were a host of random deals and whatnot available to celebrate yesterday's made-up moment. Mostly, I saw a slew of coupons from the major chains that allowed patrons a free taco. Normally these retail for less than a dollar, so those places really went out of their way to make people a deal they couldn't refuse. Or, you know, could.

But, beyond those cent-level savings, I did see something exponentially more absurd. Clothing. Yes, in a marketing team-up only a poor, starving sophomore marketing student would be excited about, fast food conglomerate Taco Bell has teamed up with fashion(?) purveyor Forever 21 to create...something. I don't know. You tell me. Does anyone want...

Sandals that mimic the outside of a taco restaurant. For $110.
A scarf "menu" for $59
A taco truck cross body bag for $355
Or a taco truck necklace for only $158
A corgi, tacos, and burritos iPhone case for IT DOESN'T MATTER WHY THE HELL WOULD SOMEONE BUY THIS????

Ahem.

So, yeah, there you go. There's your holiday. Still happy to see it trending? I thought not.

Anyway, speaking of trending, ye old Thursday night football match begins in a few hours. The New England Patriots play the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in a battle heavy on syllables and silliness. It's ridiculous, sure, but as ridiculous as the above? Lessee...

The New England...

Nope, sorry, can't do it. There's no way I can devote energy to the Pats and Bucs after that trainwreck. You want five ridiculous things? Look at those images linked above again. Just the worst. Worse than something the NFL could do for women's clothing?