Football Friday Forecast

Lessee, this Sunday, there are..14 games!  Wow, that's a lot of football to consume between waking up and falling asleep (and you can't let blackouts slow you down!).  Clearly, you need help to make some hard choices.  That's why I'm here.  I've concocted two potential plans for dealing with your Sunday:

PLAN A

1. Skip all that football, grab some skates, and go down to your nearest rink for a circle or two.

Doesn't that sound good?  And it looks fun too.

Slightly better form than your blogger

PLAN B

Okay, sure, you didn't come here for subterfuge and silly skating gifs, you came here for a football whatsamajigger.  Fine, it's your day off, enjoy it how you see fit.  But, you can't (and shan't) watch every single game.  So, here are three of the most interesting and three of the most awful matchups, using my own highly secretive and cumbersome ranking system.   Start with the top group, and as free-time and blood-alcohol levels rise, add as you see fit.  I mean, it's better than real life, right?

To Watch!

1. 49ers versus Seahawks - I'll have family at the game, so you might see them.  That's fun right?  I'll be drinking elsewhere, so just page me when you can pick them out of the crowd of 60,000 for a half-second.  They'll be sitting next to each other, and are both white.  Narrows it down enough, I think.  
2. Dolphins versus Chargers - The Chargers are playing their home games at a soccer stadium this season.  A soccer stadium!  A stadium for soccer!?!  Huh, strange times indeed.
3. Cowboys versus Broncos - From one of the greatest Simpsons episodes ever, we learn Homer really wants to own the Dallas Cowboys, but in the end, is given the gift of owning the Denver Broncos.  Who wins Homer's heart here?  Will Marge ever understand?  And, how many times, Homer, how many?

Linked above, the most nerdly argument ever, about this one joke.

To What?

1. Browns versus Ravens - The Ravens used to be the Browns.  Now they wear purple and reference Poe.  The Ravens are the Goth Browns.
2. Cardinals versus Colts - Cardinals started in St Louis while the Colts started in Baltimore.  Both teams have since moved and, somehow, ended up in worse places.
3. Jets versus Raiders - One team plays in New Jersey, while the other is moving to Las Vegas in a couple years.  So really, nobody wins here.  Ever.

Have a great weekend!