Apparently, there's football tonight. Well, Friends is off the air, so you might as well watch something. Here's what you need to know about the exciting match-down between, um, who?
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| Calvin represents our uncontrollable descent into madness. |
So, Bengals versus Texans. Sounds like a good one. Or not. I don't know, actually, let's let the internet decide:
- "The Texans could be in 'must-win' mode." This is week two. Of sixteen.
- "Andy Dalton now has to face Prime-Time Demons." We all know prime-time demons are way more demanding than midday demons. It's late, and they get over-tired.
- "Thursday night football is bad and should feel bad." The article ends, "...there is no reason that the eyes of the entire nation should be subjected to this, unless the rationale is that it's a better comedy show than 2 Broke Girls, in which case, carry on, everyone." By using 2 Broke Girls as the bar for showing football, you have immediately created a perpetual motion machine of interminable awfulness.
- Houston's special jersey for tonight, and
- Cincinnati's special jersey for tonight:
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| Who's bathed in redneck pixie dust? We are!!!! |
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| Excuse me sir, but you seem to be on fire. |
Hmm, quite a battle. Who will win? Not you. Not by a longshot.
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